And how do I fix this problem?

[anna-bananas]

In Andy's room we have his crib and a double bed, it's always been like that. Well, for the past week his "new thing" is to have one of us lay down with him on the big bed to go to sleep. He refuses to go to sleep in the crib. How can I fix this? I've tried to let him scream but he won't even lay down to try to go to sleep, he just stands in the corner of his crib and screams at the top of his lungs.

Going to bed for him now is dragging me by the hand to the double bed in his room and we both lay down. Then I usually fall asleep and somewhere around midnight I wake up and gentle place him in his crib so I can get in my own bed!

But I want him to go to bed in his crib by himself (he always used to, no problems)...because with the current method DH and I have no time at night by ourselves!

[TXLeslie]

Is it time for a toddler bed? Can he just sleep on the double bed?

Leslie

[1confzdgrl]

I was just going to suggest that. See if he would sleep in the double bed or toddler bed.

[anna-bananas]

I tried to leave him on the big bed...he gets out & follows me out into the living room. :lol: It's a seperation thing.

[~ Rebecca ~]

Does he have a "safety" item. Like Kyara has her stuffed lamb Daisy. She can't/wont sleep without it. Maybe he needs something like that, and if you keep it with you for a few days it will get your smell.

[anna-bananas]

Yep, two blankets and blue boy. He has had those for a while.

[<3 Susan <3]

IDK I would take the double bed out........ then maybe get him a toddler bed and show him mommy cant fit...he has to choose.... IDK

just a thought

[stav]

with all my vast parenting skilss, i'd remove the double bed too...

maybe put in a 'new' piece of furniture that is 'his' like a large chest for his toys.. amd then tell him the bed won't fit if he gets the toy chest... he'll go for toys.. (in theory lol)

[anna-bananas]

Hmmm....never thought of taking the double bed down. It may have to come to that.

[<3 Susan <3]

Hes probably ready fora toddler bed.... he may not like the crib because he feels like a baby......

[anna-bananas]

He may be. We are probably going to convert the crib to a toddler bed shortly. But I'm afraid he won't stay in it. He is going through a very bad phase of seperation anxiety right now too and I think that also has something to do with the fact he doesn't want to go to bed by himself. He told me last night..."mama, stay".

[<3 Susan <3]

I would read hima story and let him know when the story is over you will be going out. It will take a few days.

Elizabeth Pantley has a book titled The NO Cry Solution to Separation Anxiety :D

[<3 Susan <3]

I actually thought about getting it..... but figure Emmas anxiety isnt horrible yet.

[anna-bananas]

I'm thinking I need a copy of that book. :biggrin: I tried the book thing the other night. I sat in the rocking chair with him and read the book and told him then it was time to get in his crib. Um, it didn't work....lol!

[<3 Susan <3]

Hmmm with Emma Ive started laying her down. And if she gets up I go back in and lay her down repeatedly... well she only needs it like 2x but you get my point.

Can he climb out of the crib? If he climbs out of the double bed and follws you, a toddler bed may not be the best thing right now. (sorry just caught up on the thread)

[anna-bananas]

No he hasn't tried to climb out the crib yet. That's why I'm not really thrilled about the idea of a toddler bed. I know he will get in and out of that. At least when I put him in the crib, he is in it (for now anyway!)

[<3 Susan <3]

Maybe just try laying him down and relaying him down without picking him up. Maybe that would let him know you are there (if not in the room) but that you mean business he needs to go to bed.....

I feel your pain with sleep problems....diff problems....but problems all the same.

[anna-bananas]

I don't know. He won't lay down when I put him in his crib. He just stands up. And he is so strong that I can't make him lay down. I thought maybe last night I could get him to lay down and I could rub his back to let him know I was there, but it didn't work.

I mean, on the one hand, it's so cute that he wants to lay and snuggle with me because he NEVER does that, but it's getting old having to go to bed so he will go to sleep. Because that gives DH & I no time alone at night and that's not cool at all.

[<3 Susan <3]

Are you going through withdrawals Anna?

JK JK JK

I dunno....Ill go through this book to the end where they have problem sleeps scenarios...and Ill let you know.

[anna-bananas]

lmao, no, no withdrawls. Andy never was your typical lap baby. Until now. *rolls eyes*

Yeah, see if your book that you have has any suggustions. I may go to the bookstore tomorrow before work and look for the other book.

[Tracy]

How about leaving the double bed but get a rail so he can't fall out and a gate in the doorway so he can't wander. For some reason, my kids thought the rail "trapped" them like the crib did but they were just happy to have to have the bigger bed, they didn't complain. Took them (well, C and M, S never had a bed with a rail) 6 months or so to figure out they could get off the bed by themselves! When I weaned Cameron off of me laying with him, I would lay with him for 5 mins (so I didn't fall asleep ;)) and then would sit at the end of the bed. Next I moved a chair next to his bed and I would hold his hand or touch his head for a few mins and then just sit next to his bed. Then I moved the chair just far enough away I couldn't touch him. Then to the middle of the room, then to the doorway and then I'd stand by the doorway a few mins and finally could just leave him. It worked very well and then Sam arrived and dh let him sleep IN our bed. But thats a completely different issue!

[anna-bananas]

Those are some good ideas to try Tracy. Thanks. But somehow with Andy I don't forsee a rail trapping him. :lol: I have one rail up on one side of the bed, just not the other side right now (I lay down there). But I'm thinking maybe trying to slowly wean him from like you suggusted. Hope it works. We will try tonight and see if I can just lay with him for a few minutes & then move away...and see what happens!

[anna-bananas]

Okay, the past two nights, DH has put Andy to bed & he has gone straight to bed. But the night before last he ended up in bed with DH because of the middle of the night thunderstorm that caused the power to go out. Last night, I had a 3am call & he wanted me to lay with him on the big bed...so I slept with him for about an hour.

[Keren]

I dont really have an answer as I still lay down with Zach to get him to bed and with being up so much at night with Chloe, I totally fall asleep with Zach at like 8 and dont get up till Steve wakes me for Chloe's midnight feeding. But I was thinking maybe you could give him a pic of you or put a pic of you in his crib for him. Maybe he just needs to see your face. Sometimes I tell Zach I'll be right back when I'm laying with him and can tell he's tired then don't go back and lay with him. I guess thats kinda mean but he usually falls asleep so it works for us.