Cio

[Kimberli]

My fear with doing CIO is that he will have trust issues later on. If he's crying, we should pick him up and comfort him - in not doing so with this method, I'm afraid we will screw him up for life! Because he cries and cries and even though we go in and comfort him often, in between those times I'm afraid he thinks that we're never coming back.

It's probably silly but it's what goes thru my head every time we talk about it and it's ultimately why we stopped doing it after trying it before.

I'm going to talk to him pedi this morning about it and see what she thinks. I just don't know how to get him sleeping comfortably and happily in his bed.

[Jennifer]

Ugh, I know it is the hardest thing ever. We did CIO with Charlize, and I would cry right along with her. Something that always stuck in my head though, is this: You are teaching your child a skill that they will use for the rest of their life- I dont even remember which book I read that in, but it always stuck with me.

[Kimberli]

How long did it take Jennifer, before she got it and was a good sleeper?

[Jennifer]

It took about three weeks. Mainly because I would always go and get her in the middle of our training. You are supposed to give it a week, and I would never make it the whole week, so then I would have to start all over again, and I did that for a few weeks straight, and then finally I did it consistently for one week, and it worked. BUT, I will tell you that any time she got sick, or if we went out of town, we would have to do it all over again for about 3-5 days.
The method we used was the CIO where you come in and check on them, but dont touch them, only use your voice to comfort them, and then go for longer intervals each time, 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes, and each night let them cry for longer intervals as well.

[Chris]

I am right there with you Kim. I am having a hard time too. Last night he was crying mamamama and I broke down and got him.

Thanks Jennifer for the encouraging words. I am thinking of trying that way.

[Stacey]

I know it's hard Kim we've done CIO out with all of our children at one time or another. I did the go in every 5-10 min trick with the girls but with T I just let him cry...I didn't see that going in to comfort them worked it seemed to only DELAY the process. We started 3 weeks ago last night....I've actually get him down at night w/out him crying now sometimes. If he does cry it's usually 10-15min and a whimpery cry. I also ignore him crying in the middle of the night unless it's been 6-7hrs since he last ate or he's sick like he is now.

[Kimberli]

Well, our pedi gave me a stern talkin' to ;) and said it's time for some tough love. She said that he has already established trust so that isn't an issue and if we don't get him sleeping on his own in his crib now, its only going to get harder when he's 9 months old and can stand up and yell mama or 2 yrs old and just get out of bed.

She said we can do it however we want but she suggested establishing a bedtime routine that is consistent every night, putting him down, and staying out of there. She said with her girls, going in to reassure them only prolonged the process, so she didn't do that. She just said no matter how we do it, just be consistent and don't give in and pick him up.

So DH and I talked about it and I will start this tonight. I haven't decided if I will go in at the increasing intervals or stay out - I'm going to think about that today. Unfortunately since DH closes almost every night these days, it will be me and me alone doing this most nights...so let's hope it doesn't take long or I may go insane listening to him cry!! :(

[Keren]

ive been reading a lot lately about seperation anxiety in babies at the age ours are, but i also read that just telling them you'll be back and letting them know that you're not leaving the house is good enough...

is there a place you can go where you cant hear him cry? i cant hear Z in my room unless the monitor is on, so when im doing cio i dont turn the monitor on so i dont have to listen to him cry, i just keep an eye on the clock and go in at set intervals 3,5,7,10 minutes etc... its been working better since i get really upset hearing him cry... if its night time, i make DF go in first so he isnt screaming his head off when i go in, but now he barely screams his head off, just little tired moans that hes fighting sleep with... other times i find that hes crying in his sleep... sleeping but crying at the same time which i dont think is harmful to them at all

[Kimberli]

Not really - our main level has all the rooms on it (family room, kitchen, bedrooms, etc) so I can hear him everywhere. It helps me to clean and keep busy while we're letting him cry, so I can still hear him but I'm concentrating on something else. I leave the monitor off until he's done crying, then I turn it on - I can still hear him but it isn't right there in my ear. And his bedroom is right next to ours, so when he will be crying at night, there will be no getting away from it...:(